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Must a good sports car carry a revered emblem? Must a good sports car have a multi-cylinder engine? Must a good sports car be difficult to drive?
And must a good sports car cost half a million dollars or more?
If you think not, then read on. Otherwise, a car such as the Audi TTS would just be a waste of time to you.
And it would be a shame if you were of that opinion.
The TTS is a damn good sports car because it has all the must-have ingredients of good sports cars - ingredients that really matter, anyway.
It looks good. The car is sharper than the already stylish Audi TT, adorned with polished quad tailpipes, new alloy rims, pronounced skirting and lower lip, aluminium wing mirror casings and daylight-running LEDs in its headlamps.
It is as much of a sumptuous feast inside, with sportily stitched nappa leather upholstery (two-tone if you like), brushed metallic inserts and a prominent TTS gear knob, as well as Bluetooth and iPod connectivity.
It drives well. The TTS has the same 2-litre direct-injection turbo four-cylinder engine as the garden-variety TT. But it is tuned to produce 272bhp instead of 'merely' 200bhp.
And with 350Nm of torque from just 2,500rpm, it is as eager as an adolescent bunny.
The TTS has sports car credentials alright, hitting 100kmh in 5.2 seconds and on to a regulated top speed of 250kmh.
Progress is as seamless as it is swift, thanks to its six-speed dual-clutch transmission.
Equipped with quattro permanent all- wheel-drive and magnetic adaptive suspension, the car offers easy handling and a ride comfort far more commendable than what 'real' sports cars can achieve.
When its Sport setting is selected, the suspension lowers the car by 10mm and its dampers are stiffened. Even then, the ride is not harsh.
Wearing 18-inch wheels and 245/40 tyres, the car goes about its business in a very planted fashion. Its steering wheel is sharp, meaty and nearly as communicative as that of a go-kart.
Its cabin is liveable with a decent level of plushness, good visibility and enough rear room for two medium-built adults.
The TTS sounds good, too. Its four-cylinder power plant, exhaling through four shiny exhausts, makes all the right noises.
In fact, it will pass off easily as a six-cylinder job. The way the car blips its throttle whenever it changes down is also music to the ears.
Together with the car's nimble chassis and its huge power reserve, it makes life behind the wheel quite rewarding.
And the beauty is, you need not be stressed as the speedo rises or the road meanders. The car remains at ease, composed and utterly forgiving.
In other words, all the gain without the pain often associated with piloting a sports car. You know, things like twitchy steering, harsh ride, sledgehammer gear changes and a too-little-or-too-much power delivery.
The cherry on the icing is its price. At $225,000, it is more accessible than a Porsche Cayman, but quicker and better equipped. It makes a similarly priced Lotus Elise seem outrageously expensive.
Sure, it does not have the cachet of the thoroughbred sports marques. Then again, neither does the hotter than hot Nissan GT-R.
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